Tuesday, May 31, 2016

The Met Gala 2016: Fashion Smackdown!! (Part 3)

The Met Gala 2016: Fashion Smackdown!! (Part 3)

Julie Macklowe killin it at the 2016 Met Gala
(All images courtesy of vogue.com unless otherwise stated)

Welcome back to the final installment of the Fashion Smackdown for the 2016 Met Gala! Let's dive right into our last critiques of outfits from the red carpet!
Zoe Kravitz

Right image courtesy of tomandlorenzo.com

Zoe Kravitz was spotted on the red carpet in this messy black bumblebee ensemble. Honestly, outfits like this baffle me. Why do stars spend thousands of dollars (this was Valentino) on these kinds of outfits? Oh, right, it's to keep up appearances and get publicity, even if it means landing on the Worst Dressed list. This one just might be one of the worst outfits I've EVER seen on a red carpet and to top it off, it's not even relevant to the theme of the night (fashion meets technology). The whole outfit is just screaming "hot mess" and honestly, this looks like one of those unnecessarily goth-ified Party City Halloween costumes (gothic princess, gothic cat, gothic Red Riding Hood, gothic...bumblebee?)

Anyways, this outfit just defies explanation. The only logical conclusion you can reach from this is that Zoe Kravitz's styling team was either drunk, high, or both, because this is an absolute DISASTER. First off, what even is that headpiece she's wearing? Was this a masked ball? Was there a parade? Was she mourning the death of Mardi Gras? The fact that she's wearing a lace mask is bad enough, but to top it off, there's lace above her head too?? The same messy tangle of black fuzz is on her shoes too. Did she buy them as part of a set or something? It looks like the remnants of a feather boa. Or maybe a tangle of pubic hair.

Next, the wings/bow tie she's apparently sporting on her back? What in the world?? It looks like someone burned a giant tissue and glued it onto the back of her dress and forgot to tell her. Or maybe it's a coal miner's washcloth.

Or maybe Zoe Kravitz's outfit is just too fashion-forward for us to see its merits in 2016, since the theme of the night was supposed to be "fashion meets technology". However, in 2016, I give her a 0/10 on this outfit!

Katy Perry
Image courtesy of eonline.com
Katy Perry apparently decided to pull this outfit out of the back of her closet, because it looks like it's covered in MOLD. Or maybe random debris that washed up ashore. Whatever the case may be, the random assortment of what look like bottle caps and washers is so busy and confusing that I just can't praise this dress at all. On top of that, the heavy black velvet next to the trash on her dress just adds to the mess of this whole outfit. To top it off (literally) Katy Perry's hair looks like something you'd see in the Addams family and the eerie eye makeup doesn't exactly help with that image. The elbow-length gloves make it even WORSE, they have finger cutouts? What is this, the 1980s? Sorrynotsorry, but if this is the "fashion of the future", I'm glad I was born in this century and not the next...


Quirky as ever, Lorde poses for the camera at the 2016 Met Gala red carpet. It's been a while since I've heard anything from her, but she certainly chose a weird outfit for the "fashion meets technology" theme. Lorde, who used to be known for her quirky music and dark makeup, now looks like an overgrown ballerina trying to find Prince Charming like some odd anachronism. True, she looks brighter and more cleaned up than she normally does on red carpets, but I'm not seeing the theme of the night at all anywhere in her outfit. Props to her for taking a risk and wearing a plunging top, something I'm not used to seeing on Lorde, but this dress just baffles me, honestly. She does look good, but it's just a weird choice for the Met Gala, no?

Lauren Bush Lauren

I guess Lauren Bush Lauren didn't get the memo, because she looks like some kind of Amish nun in her dress. Nowhere in her outfit do I see fashion meeting technology, unless she's supposed to be some kind of time traveler. Who even knows why she chose to wear this on the red carpet? Honestly, she looks like she's ready to churn some butter in this outfit or give a sermon. This ultraconservative, ultra-weird look just doesn't fit in at the Met Gala....or any red carpet, for that matter.....

Amber Heard
Image courtesy of justjared.com
Amber Heard looks STUNNING in this dress. She looks like she could be the new Oscars trophy in this liquid gold ensemble. Her soft waves combined with her not-quite-red lipstick definitely give off a classic Hollywood vibe with a modern twist. But I wish she had chosen jewelry that wasn't the same shade of gold as her hair or dress - maybe emerald would have made her eyes stand out more and provide more contrast to the dress so she didn't look like a solid gold trophy. But other than that, I think her outfit is stunning. I can sort of see how it's tied in to technology (it does look like liquid plated gold), so I'll count this as a good choice for the night!

Jaden Smith and Willow Smith

Of course, no awards show is complete without some horrendous outfits. As usual when it comes to these two, I am very confused. They look like they were playing dress-up in mama Jada's closet and were running late to the Met Gala and decided to just show up. Except they pulled out clothes from 1980s Jada's closet and thought they were chic? These oversized jackets really don't do the siblings any justice whatsoever, and neither does anything else they're wearing, for that matter. The shoes are pretty standard, so there's really nothing to say there, but surprisingly, this ensemble ISN'T the result of a random dumpster dive in Jada's attic. Willow is actually wearing Chanel and Jaden is wearing Louis Vuitton. Maybe these clothes are ultra-vintage clothes? Whatever the case may be, these two are as eccentric as ever and somehow considered at the forefront of fashion (oookay). Honestly, I don't get their style. Maybe it's """too advanced""" for me, but as someone who's grouped in with them in the same generation, I really have to give these two a giant thumbs down for their outfit choices.

Julie Macklowe

Quite possibly the most relevant outfit of the night, Julie Macklowe's outfit definitely takes the cake at the 2016 Met Gala. Unlike many other celebs' outfits, hers epitomizes the theme of the night: fashion meets technology. I feel like Julie Macklowe would be a great guest to any party; I mean, she actually listens to what the host has to say. If you're going to have a theme, what's the point if no one goes along with it? Thankfully, people like Julie Macklowe exist, and they're willing to put in the time and effort to show up and show out.

In this all-metallic ensemble, Macklowe really looks like a robot. While it's not very flattering and looks very bulky, it definitely feels very fashion-forward and modern. With a less severe hairdo, this could have been more chic, but anyways, Julie Macklowe absolutely KILLED the theme of the night, so props to her! 

Lisa Marie Falcone

Finally, to wrap up the night, one last outrageously exposing outfit. Madonna thought she stole the show once again, but nope! Lisa Marie Falcone definitely takes the cake in this...bubble wrap-ish outfit. This dress looks like a combination of pins and packing material, but I guess it's fashion-forward. I definitely haven't seen anything like this, so props to her for picking something original. I'd expect to see something like this on Nicki Minaj or Britney Spears or someone younger, but the 45 year-old pulls this off just fine. Sure, it's crazy, but can you see fashion heading towards this direction? I can, so this outfit gets a thumbs up from me for fitting in with the theme of the night. Sort of. Maybe I'm just cutting her too much slack because of her age, but whatever. For 45, she looks GREAT.

And with that, we finish our Fashion Smackdown of the 2016 Met Gala outfits. What do you think of them? Who do you think had the best outfit of the night? Let me know in the comments down below! 

See you around for the next Fashion Smackdown! :)


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